You're My Beloved

My thoughts in this blog post are probably going to be a bit jumbled, but I wanted to get some of them out before they were forgotten. I have about 300 different things I want to write about, and maybe some of these should have gone in my journal, but I guess I hoped that it might speak to someone else who needed to hear these things.


I returned from my summer at Myrtle Beach on Thursday, and life has just seemed to change a lot since I left in May.  I feel like a different person; not only has my temperment changed in many ways but I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace and love that just radiates from everything I see that reflects the beauty of my Lord.  Being in love with Christ is a beautiful and scary thing at the same time; scary because your life can not be your own, but beautiful because it never was to begin with.  I rejoice to know that I am Christ's beloved-- ‎"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." (Hosea 2:19-20) How beautiful to know that I am beloved by a holy God and that He pursues me like a groom pursues a bride.


Clint Darst said in one of the last talks at Myrtle Beach that many of us will face a dry spell in our faith over the next year.  If you haven't already experienced one in your faith, then get ready, because the greatest deceiver of all loves to prey on those that Christ is working in.  During these periods of drought it can be easy to fall into the jaded misconception that God's love is directly connected to how you feel, which makes it difficult to accept the truth that just as God is the "I Am," so is His love.  God's love is not dependent on you and how you feel; it transcends your understanding and reasoning (hallelujah!!).  BUT, since it is easy to relate God's love to our pathetic understanding of it, Satan loves to slip us lies such as, "How do you KNOW God loves you? If He loved you, you would not be facing this trial!" or even, "Christ has forgotten about you." It is amazing how many times we fall for this. I wish it was as easy to rid Satan from our presence as my grandma used to put it; to stomp three times and say, "Away from me Satan!" Unfortunately, that doesn't normally work. 


During this I would encourage you to the promise that Jesus gives us to claim; "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart; I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)  After reading this, many would as, "If Christ can overcome our trials, why doesn't He do it?" 


I believe the answer to this is two-fold: 
(1) trials bring God glory, and 
(2) If God delivered us from all of our trials, many people would come to "love" God simply because of what He could do for us rather than who He is.  


Instead of agonizing over why you are facing a trial, talk to your Father.  He knows your heart deeper than even you know yourself. Through my prayers I repeatedly feel like God is softly calling to me, saying, "Katlyn, my daughter, I love you and my discipline is intentional. I am not coincidental or accidental in anything I do; rest assured that I have your heart in my hands." ASK God how you can glorify Him through your suffering, and He will impart peace to you even in the midst of the storm.


As I began to study and learn this more and more this summer, God unveiled my eyes to the truth of this love, I began to make reflections on how the Lord had drawn me to Him in my life, particularly through my testimony.  I love to share my testimony to the broken because it speaks of God's healing grace, but I think at times I dared to hope that my past would excuse me from further pain or suffering.  The truth is that God allows suffering because it draws us near to Him and gives us an even greater longing for our eternal home.  And in the midst of this, the Lord gives His beloved another promise; "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) 


When Christ says He will "uphold" us, I get this vision of someone too exhausted to even lift their head up off the ground.  It is precious to hear Christ tell us that He will sustain us and uphold us in our troubles, even when we feel too weak to bear anything else.  The other beautiful truth is that while suffering can be tumultuous, it is ultimately temporary.  Our Father promises in Psalm 126:2 that, "...our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, 'the Lord has done great things for them." Gods glory will ultimately be revealed, and your life will be a witness to others of the Lord's goodness.


Last thought:


Another thing that I felt like God was impressing on me can be related to a game we played on the beach one night.  Our team had gathered together to play a game that involved pinecones (which represented land mines) and blindfolds.  Basically, we were to navigate our way around this arena to get to our ultimate goal of defeating the other team by hitting them with a nerf ball.  However, we were blindfolded the entire time and we had to rely upon someone on our team to tell us where to go.  It was difficult to hear over the shouting of everyone else trying to distract you and give other people directions.  As I thought about this game (even now bits of this interpretation are falling into place) I slowly began to respond and understand what the Lord was teaching me.  He was basically politely telling me to shut up and let Him be the navigator.  Too often we struggle with the faith that the Lord has every small aspect of our life in His grasp, and that He has our story perfectly detailed, and as a result we often say, "Eh, I think I am going to go in this direction because it seems good to me." But God says, "NO! You are blind! I can see where you are going and it leads to nothing but destruction! I know it is hard to hear me, but STRAIN. PUSH through the voices and hear my call!"  In my study of Proverbs 1 today, it says in verse 5 "Let the wise HEAR and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance." Our Father rejoices when we come before Him in prayer and thanksgiving, but how can a relationship be truly two-fold if the words of only one person are heard?  It can't.


The reality is that God owes you nothing because He has already given you everything.  The Lord does not promise ease, he promises reward. "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation.  Be faithful unto death, and I will give you a crown of life." (Revelation 2:10)  Our father promises that if we remain faithful through the storm He will give us a crown of life.  The promises of Christ are so rich and sweet! How great it is to be Christ's beloved!